Reply to This is the first year in 13 years that I have completely dropped the rope with DH’s family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just how far are people willing to take the  “your family = your responsibility” mindset?

What happens if the husband decides not to make the trip to the wife’s family during the holidays?    Say he decides to stay home and play video games or go golfing instead. [/quote]

When it is "the norm" for husbands to shop for their MIL's for Christmas.  When MEN are wondering "hmm, I wonder what my wife's sister wants for Christmas?" and then buying, wrapping and delivering said item (AND ANY FEEDBACK ABOUT HOW IT"S NOT RIGHT).  When MEN do this entirely for their wives families of origin, we can go back to debating if it should be shifted to the middle again.

The only people who argue "It's all family" or "I don't get the big deal" are people who are NOT doing the work.  Because the people who are doing the work have spoken loud and clear: this is thankless grueling task that many partners take for granted until their wife drops it all in their lap.  [/quote]
... and furthermore, when it does get dropped for the husband to pick up, the wife gets blamed by in-laws if the husband does a bad job of it.  I VERY early on in my relationship took a the approach of each of us being the point person for our respective families.  Unfortunately, his family sees me as shirking my responsibility (because I have ovaries, I guess) to be the cruise director and maintainer of relationships, shopper of presents, sender of cards, keeper of the calendar.  I don't mind taking the hit for things not getting done the exact way they seem to think that it should, but hot damn that is some sexist nonsense.  [/quote]

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