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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]But shouldn't women continue to contribute more domestically given the view on here that men should continue to contribute more financially?

If you are into the traditional gender roles, then yes, the women will do far more at home and with the children and the man will work all day and pay for all expenses for the wife and children and the home and their lives.

Many of you are advocating for this model to continue - that men have a duty to pay for everything and therefore women will continue to take on the domestic and childcare roles and live off of the man. You will teach your sons to pay for the woman and your daughters to clean and look after kids and take the man's money.

One of my brothers and his wife are completely into traditional gender roles. He works, she doesn't. She looks after the home and children and he is the protector and provider. It works out great, both love this model and are happy with it. They each have their roles. I am sure he paid for all dates and she happily keeps house in return.

That isn't the model I want for anyone in my own family. To me equality means women contribute financially and men contribute with childcare and domestically. Both share in all aspects of adult life and adult responsibilities.

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I'm not advocating for anything. I'm saying that you can want whatever model you want, you can 'not be into' traditional gender roles, but you will probably still be doing more domestic labor than your husband. And if you tell your daughter that she can control this by picking up the check at dinner, you are setting her up to be disappointed. [/quote]

My other brother works full time and does 90% of everything childcare related and about half the domestic work (he does all cooking and laundry). Maybe it is where I live, but I am just not surrounded by men who come home and do nothing. Picking up the kids at school and probably 60% of the parents doing pick up are men. Kids activities on the weekend and it is mostly dads there. I am sure there are many individual men who do nothing other than bring home the paycheck and then retire to their man cave or play video games but I don't actually know anyone like that at all. Every man in my circle - be it male colleagues talking about the meals they cook or needing to leave early to pick up a sick kid at daycare or the tournament they coached on the weekend or friends and families that I know and see are involved in domestic labour. I will never teach my daughters that a man is the plan or to try and use men for their money or to be financially dependent on a man. You don't create change by reinforcing tradition.[/quote]

There is a huge difference between totally useless and actually doing half of the work in the area. Many women who had no expectation that they would wind up pulling most of the weight domestically, and who have husbands who say they're all in, nonetheless find themselves there.

And absolutely plan to make your own money. But letting a guy pick up the check is not 'using a man for his money.' That's nuts. Men aren't going through this kind of self-torture because they enjoy an attractive, feminine date, and women shouldn't drive themselves crazy if they like a guy who takes them out. It actually really doesn't mean that much in the scheme of things. Or split the check - whatever.[/quote]

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