Reply to Couples therapy and mandatory reporting

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a therapist. This would have to be reported.

And I agree with the PP, this should not be your biggest concern.[/quote]

What? Because he grabbed the kid? God help our culture if we think it's better to lock up a parent or divorce him because he grabbed his kid too hard in a moment of frustration. Where is the compassion? Where is the proportionality? It really doesn't sound like he was trying to hurt the kid. Maybe he didn't realize how much force he was applying. Maybe he didn't realize the point at which he woudl leave a mark. And what's "a mark," anyway - a bruise? The slight discoloration in skin that comes from pressure or heat and then dissipates after a few seconds? As long as he now acknowledges that he squeezed too tight, I think everyone needs to get over it.[/quote]

+10000[/quote]

I am a different poster and agree with this. It’s legal to spank your kids. He needs better emotional regulation but this isn’t CPS-worthy IMO. And I am a mandated reporter and have reported to CPS before.[/quote]
Then you do not know what you are doing. I am also a mandated reporter and leaving marks always requires a report. PP, maybe you should think about changing professions. [/quote]

As someone said above, there are marks and there are marks. Grabbing a child even non-abusively will leave brief red marks. If we are talking about bruises visible hours later that is a different story. But considering none of us here has even seen the photos I think you’re the one jumping to conclusions.[/quote]

Exactly. If my child was headed for the street and I grabbed his arm to stop him from being run over, the potential to leave a mark is there, maybe even a bruise. Other parent could disagree and say Larlo would have listened to the word 'no' so grabbing his arm was wrong. Mandatory reporter could then report to CPS, and some CPS worker with a chip on his/her shoulder could consider action abusive. 
[/quote]

Ok so in a worst case scenario a CPS investigation is started and since you have nothing to hide and don’t routinely bruise your child (right?) it’s an annoyance and potentially an expense.

A mandatory reporter [i]ignores[/i] those bruises and loses their job and a kid potentially loses their life. Why is that a preferable outcome to you?[/quote]

I don’t think you have any concept or understanding of how traumatizing these inquiries can be even if they are baseless. These people, most of whom have sub mental IQs, have the power to ruin your reputation, in some cases your career, destroy your family, and remove your child. It is a horrific experience even if you are innocent.[/quote]

I do understand this could be traumatizing. I’m saying the trauma a parent who engages in one-time abuse or is misunderstood feels is a lesser evil than a child dying. I’m saying your reputation and career are not more important than the mandatory reporters career, which is what they lose if they don’t report you.

[/quote]

My reputation and career ARE more important than a mandated supporters career.

And if my spouse tried to label me an abuser we would be done, and they could kiss seeing their children goodbye at least half of the time.

[/quote]

Why is your career more important than a doctor's, or a teacher's, or a therapist's?  [/quote]

In many states the the definition of who is a mandated reporter has been extended so broadly as to include virtually any adult.[/quote]

Is that doctor, teacher or therapist going to be supporting my children? No. Therefore my career and reputation are more important FOR THE CHILD than the reporter’s.[/quote]

Do you understand that if telling the truth ruins your reputation, then it is based upon a falsehood?

If you can't stand behind your own actions, because they would be roundly condemned...maybe you need to look in the mirror. [/quote]

Maybe you need to get a clue. [b]In many circles and professions, the inquiry alone would be sufficient to cause harm. For a doctor for example, they may be required to state whether they have ever been investigated in order to get hospital privileges or a state license[/b]. Even if nothing came of the investigation. Not to mention other parents. Are you sending your kid to play and socializing with the parents who had CPS called on them, even if chargers were never filed? Yeah no.[/quote]

Well, then these people shouldn’t lay their effing hands on their children such that they leave marks. How hard is that to understand? A doctor should already know this.[/quote]

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