Reply to 6th grade DD is being excluded from social events with longtime friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Not an answer to her question though.

Answer. One girl sure, maybe even two. But not her entire friend group. There’s something else going on here.[/quote]

Right, but it may not be fixable.  [b]I remember distinctly in 6th grade that my group of friends and I were furious at another girl in the group because we felt she was boy-crazy and obsessed with boys and did not care about our softball team (which all of us were on) as much as she used to.  At the time it seemed like the worst possible offense - but in reality, we were just at different places in life.[/b]  There's nothing wrong with having less interest in softball and more in boys, but it is really, really hard for immature kids to see something like that in a reasonable light.[/quote]

This happened to me at this age, except I was the late bloomer who was left behind when, seemingly overnight, all my friends became boy-crazy and we just couldn't relate to each other anymore.  I don't think there's anything my mom could have said to the other moms to fix this. 
 It sucked, but I was able to connect with other kids through extracurricular activities (dance, art) so agree with all the advice to encourage DD to meet people outside of school. [/quote]

This, and I had the exact same experience.  6th grade is really weird, in that half of the girls are like 11-going-on-16, while the other half are still little girls.  The more mature girls are going to find the late bloomers immature and annoying, even if they previously were friends.  OP, if you think this is what's happening, there's not much you can do other than encouraging other friendships.  You can't make your DD more mature, and if the other girls are forced to include your DD, they will likely escalate from largely ignoring your DD to being quite mean.  [/quote]

The 11-going-on-16 girls are really disturbing, and their parents who think it’s totally great![/quote]

I'm sorry that you find my daughter disturbing.  I'm not sure what you'd like me to do about the fact that she is in the middle of puberty (she started on the early end of normal).  She likes girls, not boys, but thinks the idea of kissing is gross.  Other than that, she is much "older" than her age and isn't interested in hanging out with kids who are still playing with dolls or are playing pretend.    [/quote]

Honestly, she's what 11? I'd make her do at least some of that she's still a kid. I wouldn't want her to miss that just because she's trying to grow up too fast. It's not all puberty either. I hit puberty early too, now way was I about to give up being a kid that young.[/quote]

Umm good luck "making" a pubescent and mature 11/12 year old play make believe or play with dolls. How would you do that?[/quote]

This! And there is a stigma against the ones who feel too “grown up” for dolls and make believe. But, it’s not like the more “grown up” girls are acting like Kardashians or anything. At 11, my now teenage daughter would be embarrassed to play dress up or with dolls. When she had a friend over, they would bake cookies, “redecorate” her room (usually just moving posters around), listen to music, try on clothes, etc. All totally innocent activities but were more interesting to them than the toys and games they played with at 8-9. [/quote]

There is no stigma, but why is it that any time someone mentions older kids should play everyone races to the idea that they need to act like they're 3? The activities you mention sound great, we did them too, but no reason why they can't or shouldn't run around and play with their friends especially at 11.[/quote]

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