Reply to s/o - Aborting because a child is "disabled"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
They say; I don't have the resources to take on a child with Ds. But, if they have health insurance (and most people on here do) and live in a county with early intervention (which is mandated by law) then children with Ds specifically don't take many more financial resources than typical kids. Then it's; I can't handle the challenges of a child with an intellectual disability. I'm trying to say that our social construct disregards the lives of the disabled, especially those with intellectual disabilities, which leads people to make decisions based on fear and incorrect assumptions rather than reality.

This whole, "I don't have enough to give this kid what they really deserve," may not really be true. What is true is that the parent is afraid to try, because of all the misinformation and prejudice against people with intellectual disabilities there is. And I would be too. But when you look at those who have, most of them are very grateful for their kids.[/quote]
you are completely alone when you have a disabled child
you do not realize it until you have the child
Insurance does not cover everything, insurance companies find ways to drop coverage. Help you get from state is dependent on your income. The calculation does not take into account the number of kids already in the family, student loans, mortgage etc
You really are expected to have an employer that is OK with you taking a lot of time off work to take the kid to all the therapies, and then magically have the money to pay for it all.
It never ends. There is nothing for those with older ds kids. Some help available when the kid is small and cute, that does not last long.[/quote]

This PP is correct.  I have several close friends whose children have DS.  Health insurance does NOT cover everything (these are people with good jobs and good insurance).  These children -who are high functioning- will never live on their own.  The children -across the board- were almost 8 before being potty trained (as just one example).  Multiple health problems attendant to the DS.  It is draining on a marriage (as I saw first hand).  Parents miss a LOT of work or opt out altogether to deal with therapy, doctors, etc.  The parents of one of the families have gone through severe depression -both- and adjustment to the reality of their lives.  It's not all rainbows and puppy dogs.  It's hard work.  Their kids are GREAT kids.  They are very loved.  But, let's not paint a picture that just is not true for many, many people.

I'm glad some of you had such easy experiences.  That is not always the case.  No one is saying -well, at least I'm not saying- that these children have less value or are worth less.  But, I'm not going to judge someone from opting out of this lifestyle. It's hard. It's expensive. It's not for everyone.

Flame away.[/quote]

"opt out" what a nice euphemism for abortion. Makes it sound like you've decided not to take the vacation after all. I love how people say, "oh these kids are great, of course they mean a lot to their families," but no way in hell I'd willingly have a kid like that. They are so great, but not good enough for me. Why don't we just say what these decisions really mean.

We think people with disabilities are a burden to their families, they bring their families down, and the weight of caring for them is not worth their life. Although you wanted the baby you are pregnant with, once you find out they have a disability like Down syndrome (compatible with life and not fatal) you do decide that their lives are not worth the potential costs to you if you terminate. I will not allow you to be born because I do not want to care for someone like you.

[b]So is it reasonable to get pregnant if one is completely unable to care for a disabled kid[/b]? What about all the stuff that can turn up but doesn't show up on prenatal tests? Just hope you don't get pregnant with a kid that has a disability that doesn't show up on ultrasound or amnio or CVS? I guess there is no way to eliminate that unfortunate possibility. I think if you feel completely unprepared or unwilling to raise a child with a disability you shouldn't have kids, because you never know what you're going to get.[/quote]

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