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[quote=Anonymous]IMHO the absent father has no claim on the daughter's emotions and behavior, regardless of whose fault it was, therefore, OP, you need to be above the haggling and nonsense your ex is putting you through.

First I would suspend all direct communication between you and the ex, and if it were me, also the daughter, explain that going forward all communication has to go through a website such as TalkingParents, which can be used in court if it ever came to that.  Have a lawyer prepare a written document that spells out how payments will be treated (half to daughter, half to ex, maybe?).  The terms should also give ex your commitment to not kidnap, and any other things you could agree she is entitled to.  The terms should also spell out your availability for visits with your daughter that is optional for the daughter, no pressure. If the terms are more than fair, your ex won't have a leg to stand on.  When the daughter is older she will understand and value what you have done to bring order to this messy situation.  I can pretty much assure you that making everything clear is going to help all concerned immensely.[/quote]

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