Reply to I regret having kids. I don't like being a mom. And it's affecting my marriage

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Reply to "I regret having kids. I don't like being a mom. And it's affecting my marriage"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] As a CFBC woman, I find women who deliberately choose to have children and then complain about them to be truly hilarious. [/quote]

I find childless women who troll parenting sites to be a particular brand of pathetic. 
-Happily married with two beautiful children[/quote]

Nice. So much judgment here-on both sides. The first comment is really shallow and mean and the response comment is smug and belittling (and what does being happily married have to do with it? You can be happily married with and without kids). Both of you sound awful. Can't we just live and let live?

I don't have kids and I really feel for the OP. Being a mother in our society is really, really hard. I have said many times that I would have had kids if I could have been a dad and not a mom. On the other hand, I think that there are women out there who have kids even if they instinctually feel it's not the right choice for them because of society's negative attitudes towards women without kids (in particular women's negative attitudes towards women without kids). I thought about having kids for years even though in my gut I knew it wouldn't be the right choice for me in part because I feared judgement from other women. I remember the comments starting back in my 20's when I first started to question whether or not I wanted kids. Comments such as "you'll regret it" and "you aren't a real woman until you have kids" and "people without kids are strange" and "people who are married who don't have kids aren't really married." I could go on and on. Why do we feel such a need to judge other women's choices? I'm 48 and to this day I still have a fear response when people (mainly women) ask me if I have kids because I'm afraid of what they will say to me and/or what they will think. I know that there are some women who will judge me without even knowing me based on the fact that I don't have kids. I don't get it-I don't judge women for being mothers. This doesn't seem to be the situation with the OP, but maybe if there was less judgement towards women without kids there would be fewer women who have kids hesitantly but feel that it's something they have to do to "fit in" or be accepted by society. [/quote]

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