Reply to Budgeting for Private School -- Convince my spouse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I suppose pointing out that there are houses available in the Reston Herndon area that would be less expensive, saving money on the mortgage for more travel and the like, and feed into some great MS and very good HS with AP classes.

There are some excellent public schools in FCPS that provide a great education and experience and you don't have to buy a million dollar home, but they don't have the prestige that I suspect the OP actually wants. I don't know MCPS but I would guess that there are some very good public schools there. But OP has decided that all the public school are awful or will be awful and that the only why her kids can get a great education is to go private.

And that is cool. OPs problem is that her husband knows that she is wrong and sees that the cost of the private schools are not worth it for their family. And people here are saying the same thing. But this isn't about economics, it is about prestige and being able to say that the kids went to school X and that they are so much better then those kids who had to go to public schools and aren't we the best parents ever because we scrimped and saved to pay for our $1.2 million house and private schools for the 3 kids.

Kind of ridiculous.

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WTAF I could give a rats tail about prestige. All I want is my kid to be learning my for most of the day in school, have a reasonable size house for my family, and not have a 2 hr commute. HERNDON?? To Capital Hill?? Do you own a private helicopter??

I personally like a lot of FCPS and MCPS, but the ones with decent commute are way way more expensive now and represent taking on debt NOW vs the slow pain of private and college. Neither option is great, though I am surprised we seem to be too poor for private but got zero aid. [/quote]

No, "all" you want is a great private school, a big house with a short commute, music lessons, expensive camps and activities, a regular house cleaner, a $16k annual vacation budget, a big grocery budget, no second job/side hustle, and your husband to fall in line.

Am I missing anything? 🙄

Your HHI does not support this lifestyle. You need to make some sacrifices and you seem unwilling to consider any of them. 
[/quote]

I’m really curious? What camps are cheap? Our county camps are $400/week? We only do rec sports, do your kids not do any activities?  Stay home alone all summer by themselves when you are at work?

Half our travel budget is visiting family — I personally would be fine reducing that but they can’t travel to us.

Big house?  Uh no. Ifs okay, but no one would call our house big. [/quote]

OP, I have only one child with a similar HHI and regularly second guess if this is all worth it. And we have about $100k set aside for college right now for that one child who is 6. Given that you are trying to swing this with 3 children - you are certainly squeezed. Here is how we make it work, while still providing an enriching life for our child and traveling, and some extra frills - like once monthly cleaning and takeout when we want, etc etc.

[b]We live in a less desirable part of MoCo.[/b] We knew private school was a priority for us so we picked a "cheap" house (mortgage is now $500k w a monthly payment around $2100). You cannot have it all. Full stop. One thing must give. For you, looking at your budget, it is schools or housing. Folks saying your grocery bill is high - I don't know, $1500/mo for a family of 5 works out to about $375/wk. For a family of 3, I spend $250, so that doesn't seem crazy to me. The savings on cheaper cell phone plan etc are also marginal.

Unfortunately, you are at the worst possible time to find a cheaper house, as prices are sky high all around, but there are lots of options. Most people on DCUM will not consider PG county, but honestly, there are lovely established neighborhoods where you can have a house big enough for your family AND big enough for overseas relatives to come visit and stay for long times.

I grew up in PG county and still have friends and family in this neighborhood for instance: https://www.redfin.com/MD/Bowie/8310-Quill-Point-Dr-20720/home/10875921 and it is a diverse neighborhood with all kinds of people and decent houses that have held up well and the neighborhood is well maintained. A house like this that is fully $400k less than what you pay now would likely make a huge diff in your bottom line. And you can orange line commute from New Carrollton or drive in on 50, it is not that terrible.

If you want MoCo, something like this, that is walkable to the Kensington Marc train, and walkable to the Wheaton metro station would also give you FAR more wiggle room on your mortgage. https://www.redfin.com/MD/Kensington/10709-Drumm-Ave-20895/home/11139198

If you want to stay in VA, look in Springfield or similar places: https://www.redfin.com/VA/Springfield/5408-Danville-St-22151/home/9747763

The bottom line is, you can find PLENTY of nice houses in the $800k range, You just have to give up something and for you, if private school is a non negotiable, the thing to give up is a house in desirable, close in Arlington. You are also likely feeling the squeeze because you're looking at families around you with similar jobs, making it work and wondering why you can't? The answer is always family money. If you don't have any, you have to get creative if you want all these things.

My DH's commute downtown is about 35 mins in traffic and our school commute is similar. DH does drop off, I do pickup and it only adds about 10 mins on to his total morning commute. Sure, do the people who live in Chevy Chase have a 20-25 min school/work commute compared to us? Yes, but they can afford literally one million dollars more in housing than I can. It is what it is and I am not going to lament about it. We wanted a particular kind of educational experience for our child, so we deal with the commute. 
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Something is really off if you cannot afford private or only have $100K in your child's college fund.  You are overspending.  We make far far less and with one child could make it work.[/quote]

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