Reply to Do not bring a sibling to a birthday party?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You don't bring a sibling who has not been invited. Full stop.

It is actually important for siblings who were not invited to learn how to deal with not being invited. Also, it teaches siblings to deal with the fact that their brother or sister have their own friends. It is a way of teaching boundaries. I have watched moms argue that both their kids should go to a party when only one was invited because they want to "always keep things equal forever" between their kids. That is delusional thinking.[/quote]

Ok.  This is crazy.  Most people I know work (some) weekends and both parents aren’t home in the middle of the day to babysit a three year old and an infant while the four year old goes to a party.  
[b]I assume that most people asking are asking because they don’t have other childcare.[/b]  If people are asking because they feel that you need to accommodate their own weird neuroses, that’s a different story.  [/quote]

Then try harder, because millions of other parents find childcare just fine.[/quote]

The idea that I am supposed to spend $80 for a babysitter and a gift so my kid can attend a 3 year old party is one that is very specific to upper class bubbles.  [/quote]

During the preschool years, it is fine, a little rude, but fine to ask to bring siblings.

It is during the elementary years where you can drop off that it is rude.

I went to a party recently where one family brought 4 kids AND grandparents to a pay per head birthday party. I’m sure the 4 kids would have enjoyed the activity. I think this party would have cost $30 per person so this guest cost the host $150 extra.[/quote]

It’s not fine to ask to bring along someone who isn’t invited, preschool or not. [/quote]

How does one even know who is invited these days? In the world of evites, I've never seen one where *only* one of my  kids is specified as the invitee. I wouldn't even know how to do that with evite. Paper invitations are discouraged by my kids' school.

That all being said, I've found that basically all DCUM rules don't apply in my working-class majority-minority inner city neighborhood in Chicago. All birthday parties are gift parties, half of the invitations include a gift registry, and whole families typically attend. Oh, and people typically have no issues inviting some portion of the class that isn't 100% or all boys or all girls or whatever. [/quote]

The person whose name is on invitation is the only person invited.  Here is an example;

Johnny Johnson is invited to attend Michael  Anderson's 4th birthday party.

If siblings are invited, then invitation would read:. "All Johnson children invited to Michael Anderson's 4th birthday party."

Do you understand the difference?

Here's another invitation etiquette:. Only the people's name written on both outside and inside are invited to wedding and reception
Example:. Outside envelope:. Mr. and Mrs. John Joseph Anderson, if family is invited inside envelope will say Mr. and Mrs
 Johnson and family.  Any one over age 16 should be sent a separate invitation.  If no card is enclosed about reception then you are not invited to reception and no wedding present is expected.

The upshot is ONLY THOSE NAMED ARE INVITED!!!!!!!!?[/quote]

Ok, thanks for screaming, it really made the point.

I have *never* received an invitation to a child's birthday party in an envelope. Every one my son has ever been invited to has been an email invitation and those all go to the [b]parent's [/b]email. The name of the "invited" child has never been specified. 
They always give you the option to specify the number of attendees in the RSVP.  When my kid is older and the parties shrink in size and become drop off parties, I expect that will change. But right now, invitations take the form of the parent being invited via email to celebrate "Larlo's Sixth Birthday party at Skyzone."

But, maybe that's just because my local community is too poor to afford to send out paper invitations in envelopes? Or, too ignorant to invite people one by one? /s

Rich people baffle me sometimes.

[/quote]

NP. I have both sent and received Evites (or other electronic invitations) and many, many times they have specified the name of the child or children invited. (I have twins so sometimes I get an invitation for just one of them, who happens to be in the birthday child's class, and sometimes it is for both of them). I have also sent them with the child's name specified. It's very easy to do.[/quote]

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