Reply to Should a sympathy card include money? If so how much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Absolutely not.

America has become very crass in this regard.

I feel like our first instinct is to throw money to cover up any problem.

Write a heart felt card about the deceased or your regards for the grieving family member.

(If the death left someone in material need, such as a young widow with children, perhaps later try to help them out in some way. )[/quote]

I would calibrate based on the circumstances. For most people, especially where I cannot attend the funeral, I send a note. If the person has worked for us as a nanny or a housekeeper, I include cash/check (if I am not able to go in person) and the amount depends on if the burial will be here or in their home country, if the deceased was the breadwinner, etc. Recently I provided cash to our weekly housekeeper as her brother passed away and she and her surviving siblings had to cover the funeral and help the brother's widow and child.

I think responses here can vary across class and culture. I would hope that no one would stand on ceremony because of etiquette rules that may have been narrowly conceived as well as reflecting a certain privileged milieu. [/quote]

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