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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP: I'm white, spouse Asian. DS definitely gets asked questions like "so, what are you?" at school sometimes and we've had a number of conversations with him about how to handle those situations constructively. He doesn't seem too phased by it, but at the same time usually when a situation like this comes up he wonders allowed why he has to answer so much or why other kids don't get asked that as much as he does.

It clearly bothers him to some degree, but there is no question he doesn't experience discrimination and adversity the way a more obviously black or brown person would, or even on par with a full Asian person (like my spouse, the difference between the type of service/response/accommodation we receive at stores/restaurants/etc. when I'm the one making the ask is quite stark... and similarly in our professional environments). So saying he's a personal of color does seem a bit disingenous, but he's also not "passing as white" (especially in situations where it might be advantageous if he could) so and it would be similarly disingenuous to equate his experience as those of white kids.

So if you want to reduce things to as simple of a binary metric as a POC vs. white that's fine, but it's going to leave out a lot of information. Even something as simple as reporting the % POC (Black, Indigenous, Latinx) and % white, but not forcing them to add up to 100% is useful... leaves space in the middle for Asian, multiracial, and other people whose experience in our society falls somewhere between the two extremes of white and POC.[/quote]

I don't think that's what the Black mom was getting at, if I can chime in here. The newish POC moniker is actually damaging because it lumps the groups in as one and the Black experience, for example, is STARK/DISTINCTIVELY different compared to other POC, in America, hence newer terms like BIPOC. (Black Indegious and People of Color)

The concern is social isolation and children feeling culturally comfortable knowing there are others from similar background and cultural experiences in their classes and on campus.

And know that there is lots of research that says "white passing, mixed and racially ambiguous kids are able to easier fit in, and assimilate in White society because of their proximity to whiteness. They stand out less, are accepted more and deemed less threatening, and there is less "otherness" to them in the eyes of classmates, teachers, administration.

Thus, if a school advertises 20% POC in a class as part of their their diversity numbers and a parent signs up without visiting because of Covid restrictions or distance, for example, to only realize after enrolling that there is  0 obviously black and 0 obviously hispanic kids in that 20%, then that parent might have set up their child to feel culturally isolated.

If anyone questions whether this really is that Big of a deal or concern, ask yourself if you would want to go to school for 4-12 years when you are the only White person or only person for your answer.  Or check the Black At Instagram pages to see why it can be an issue.[/quote]

I think it's completely fair to ask straight out "how many kids will look like my son? How many teachers will my daughter see that are ___."

Also, good things to keep in mind when attending accepted students events. 
[/quote]

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