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[quote=Anonymous]NP: I'm white, spouse Asian. DS definitely gets asked questions like "so, what are you?" at school sometimes and we've had a number of conversations with him about how to handle those situations constructively. He doesn't seem too phased by it, but at the same time usually when a situation like this comes up he wonders allowed why he has to answer so much or why other kids don't get asked that as much as he does.

It clearly bothers him to some degree, but there is no question he doesn't experience discrimination and adversity the way a more obviously black or brown person would, or even on par with a full Asian person (like my spouse, the difference between the type of service/response/accommodation we receive at stores/restaurants/etc. when I'm the one making the ask is quite stark... and similarly in our professional environments). So saying he's a personal of color does seem a bit disingenous, but he's also not "passing as white" (especially in situations where it might be advantageous if he could) so and it would be similarly disingenuous to equate his experience as those of white kids.

So if you want to reduce things to as simple of a binary metric as a POC vs. white that's fine, but it's going to leave out a lot of information. Even something as simple as reporting the % POC (Black, Indigenous, Latinx) and % white, but not forcing them to add up to 100% is useful... leaves space in the middle for Asian, multiracial, and other people whose experience in our society falls somewhere between the two extremes of white and POC.[/quote]

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