Reply to Making SAHM get job to pay for private school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, I agree the word "make" her get a job is poor choice of language.

Some good advice here and to answer some questions: she has a good degree fromm an expensive private school (as do most of her friends who are SAH mom's) so she could go back to what she was doing before SAH and probably make 75-100k full time which after taxes would basically just lay for school.

The reason I mention that is because I wonder if she would still think private is worth it if she literally had to endure a year of all the nonsense they work brings just for the joy of saying out kids are in private school.

[b]As others have pointed out, it's just as much about that I see private school as pointless. In fact, I probably have a bit of a chip about it since I started at my company with a dozen others, almost all of them from Ivy or southern Ivy (Duke, Candy) and I surpassed all of them. [/b]Most aren't even in the field anymore. Point being, where you go to college doesn't matter as much as people think unless you are in a super rare field that needs a pedigree (like a Supreme Court lawyer). Where you go to high school matters less and middle school?

If this was a cheap expense, then it wouldn't be a hill to die on but it's an enormous expense. Can I afford it? For sure. Does it mean I will work at least 3 more years over this, for sure.

[b]I suppose it just comes down to a philosophical difference as to whether private is an actual benefit vs a country club status thing.

Advice on a productive conversation? Am I allowed to anonymously sneer that my wife's very expensive private school pedigree didn't exactly lead to a good ROI?[/b][/quote]

Okay, I am assuming you are a smart guy if you are making 500K a year.  You have the answers within yourself and just aren’t ready to do them so you are just coming here to vent.

1 - Acknowledge to your wife that you do have a chip on your shoulder as you admitted here.  That’s your trigger and to move forward productively with any conversation, about private school you can’t take your baggage into it

2 - Yes, it comes down to a philosophical difference about it and if you don’t know if it would be an actual benefit, why the heck aren’t you first educating yourself?  A pp said it best, if someone came to you in business with an idea and a solid track record, would you dismiss this person out of hand without listening or asking questions and getting more information?

3 - You do know how to have a productive conversation with someone when you aren’t seeing eye to eye and that person has at least equal authority to you.  Again, if you are in a career making half a million dollars a year and don’t  know how to do that, please tell me what career because I’m in the wrong business.  You must have something - negotiation skills, emotional intelligence, etc to make you successful in your career.  Use some of that at home.

4 - Yes you can anonymously sneer at your wife’s pedigree and the ROI etc but if you really don’t respect her you have bigger fish to fry than private school for the kids.  If you do really respect her and view your marriage as a partnership recognize how you both make it possible to have the life you share now and realize you are bringing your chip on your shoulder to put down your wife and mother of your children which really isn’t cool.[/quote]

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