Reply to How would you handle a 15 yo talking about getting a matching tattoo with a friend who is dying

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Reply to "How would you handle a 15 yo talking about getting a matching tattoo with a friend who is dying"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This girl has been very close to my daughter for a few years but she's had recurring cancer and it recently came back in a very severe form and it's bad enough they aren't going to fight and just try to make her comfortable.

My daughter and her friend recently came to their parents and asked about going to a reputable artist and getting some designs done up, her parents are alright with the idea but I'm hesitant about this it seems insane to allow a tattoo at 15 years old but also the right thing to do.[/quote]

I'm so sorry that you are facing this question.  I don't really like tatoos and would probably never get one, but in a no win situation, you have to ask what's the most important thing here?  That should be your daughter.  Now is the time to show her that you can support her even in the worst of times and that you recognize that she's dealing with most real consequences of the adult world.  I think I would have a private conversation with my daughter and express the following:

1.  Sadness and regret for all that she is facing with her friend
2.  Appreciation for the courage and loyalty that she's showing her friend
3.  That tattoos are permanent and she must be really sure that she wants it there forever
4.  That if she has doubts about it and wants to back out, I will take all the blame and absolutely refuse to allow it
5.  That if she does go forward with it, that it should be in an area that is discrete as this is something for her and her close friend, not everyone in the world.  Perhaps talk about planning for the tattoo during job interviews and formal wear as nonjudgmentally as possible.

The way that I look at this is that the tattoo won't actually harm the girl long-term.  I would be much more concerned about the actions of a distraught 15 year old who lost her best friend and believes that her parents disrespected that friendship at some crucial hour.  You know your child will need you a great deal in the near future, focus on bigger harms.[/quote]

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