Reply to Told brother to keep his girlfriend aka mistress at home for the holidays.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote][quote]

Well, you lied to him.  You said you didn't want her around until his divorce was final.  Now you say you don't ever want to meet her or host her.  So you are wrong for that.

I think you should tell him, "I'm still really upset with you for the way you ended your marriage and I judge GF for her role in it.  She's in your life and I see that, but I don't want to be upset about this over Christmas and I doubt you want to bring her to a place where everyone is cold to her either.  Let's give it another 6 months for tempers to cool."[/quote]

You need to recognize that you all keep moving the goal posts. You need to decide if you want to cut off brother forever or not. If not, you have to accept GF.[/quote]

I agree.  You moved the goalposts once; you only get to do that so many times before he gives up.  If you make him choose, he might not choose you, especially if he feels you were unfair or strung him along.  You think you control how long you get to punish him, but at some point, he's going to walk away.  You're not his mommy, it's not really your place to punish him, and you admit that you are rude and condescending.  What will you do if he marries this woman or has kids with her?  What will you do if he just stops coming to family events?  [/quote]

All because he can't bring his fling for some turkey dinner? What a loser he must be. His soon to be ex-girlfriend must be so proud.[/quote]

If you're going to uninvite the girlfriend to Thanksgiving and Christmas, you at least need to explain the long-term plan: "Everyone is still a little raw over the fact that you cheated, and November/December is too soon. But if you want us to meet her over dinner at a restaurant sometime, we're willing to do that."[/quote]

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