Reply to Friend just announced her junior DD has committed to play lax at a top school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I totally agree with OP.  My DS, who is very bright, worked his butt off to study for the SAT/ACT and wrote a ton of essays for his applications.  Some girl got into one of his top choices (he did not get in), for hockey, it was early junior year and no grades at that time.  Obviously, life isn't fair, but [b]what kind of lesson is this to learn[/b]?  If you play a sport you can go anywhere, grades don't matter, but if you study and have good grades, good luck to you.  I just wonder if these kids are getting into top school b/c of sports, can they handle it academically?[/quote]
So many good lessons for your son and you to learn here! Just a few:

No one is entitled to admissions at elite private colleges. They accept who they want based on the criteria they develop for building the student community they want on campus. If you aren’t happy with a school’s values and community, apply to one that’s a better fit.

It’s great that you worked so hard in HS and did so well academically! That will give you an excellent foundation for succeeding in life. You need to understand though that there are tens of thousands of HS seniors in the US (and beyond) with perfect or near-perfect stats all applying to the same elite schools. Those schools only have room for a fraction of them. Is there anything in your application that differentiates you from tens of thousands of other qualified applicants? No? You may have a chance of admissions. That chance is probably couple percentage points below the school’s published acceptance rate, so set your expectations accordingly.

Did your parents tell you that if you worked hard and got great grades and test scores and did some ECs that they think sound impressive you’d likely get into an Ivy? Sorry kid. That’s not the way it works. But you can learn from this once you get to the great college that wants you. Away from your parents, you don’t have jump through all the hoops that they and all the other striver parents say you have to (though you may need to do some of this if they condition continued tuition payment on choosing an acceptable major). It’s a good time to start to figure out what you want to do with your life and dig deep into subjects that fascinate you.

Don’t be someone who goes through life envying other people and whining when someone else gets a thing you want. Comparison is the thief of joy. Also, college is a time to meet people from other walks of life and learn from them. Don’t just hang out with kids who seem most like you. Have conversations with everyone in your dorm, participate in intramural activities, maybe go to a women’s hockey game.  [/quote]

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