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Reply to "Friends who cannot seem to get away - what gives?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those of you turning down invitations to go out at night, consider that if you keep saying no people will stop inviting you. Consider whether you want to maintain the friendship. If you do, try to say yes sometimes. Also keep in mind that as your kids enter elementary they will start having activities that make getting together on weekends very difficult. If you want to see certain friends a Thursday night dinner may be your only option.

I can’t relate at all to people who don’t ever want to go out. This board seems to skew toward homebody/introvert types. I am not out partying every night but a couple times per month is a great way to stay connected with friends. And I have to laugh at the posters saying it’s not fair to their husband to leave them alone with a couple kids. What do you think single parents or military spouses do? Some parents make bedtime out to be some crazy complicated process that requires two people. It really doesn’t when it comes down to it. You are making it that way. [/quote]

NP. LOL, thanks for the advice.

Here’s something for you to consider: Just because I’m turning down invites *from you* doesn’t mean I’m turning down all the invites. It also doesn’t mean that I’m not inviting other friends to do things. Do you get it? You’re the one I’m willing to see every now and then for a coffee.[/quote]

I’m not the one who organizes the dinners. I get invited to them and I try to say yes when I can so I can stay connected to those friends. No need to make it about me. I’m not the OP and I don’t have friends who tell me no because I am basically my other friends are more the organizing types. But I see that the moms who say no all the time stop getting included because after a while everyone just expects them to say no.

And no I don’t place my friends in a hierarchy like you describe. That is weird. [/quote]

I mean...great for you. Why do you assume that the moms who stop getting invited give a flip?[/quote]

There are tons of posts on DCUM about being lonely, having no friends, asking how to make friends as adults...seems a lot of people DO want friends and WOULD care about not being invited out anymore. But to have a friend you need to be a friend. You can't ignore someone for two (three, four) years, then turn around and be like, "now I'm ready to be friends again!"[/quote]

…who said I would? I keep in touch and go out with high-priority friends. You are B Team. Take the hint. [/quote]

I wonder what compels someone to write such a post beyond being deeply sad and insecure. Who ranks friends on a "B Team"? Is this seventh grade? Grow up.[/quote]

At least I’m honest. Can you be honest? How many people were invited to your wedding? Weren’t there at least a handful of friends and a few couples, likely also a few colleagues with whom you are friends, that you just couldn’t invite? That’s your B Team.

I’m sorry you can’t handle some simple shorthand for, “Friends I like and enjoy spending time with when I can, but who aren’t the very closest friends that I move mountains for.” [/quote]

Why are you making assumptions about other people's social lives? Move along.[/quote]

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