Reply to I don't want to be under pressure when my DH isn't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP you should’ve married my DH. All he cares about is work and making more money. We have barely spent time with him for nearly 10 years because of it.

Check your priorities. [/quote]

Yeah I was shocked when she said that they take one vacation a year, if any. Sounds like OP is so focused on her kids future when they are 18+ that's she's missing out on a lot of bonding and important stuff when they are young [/quote]

I would get the side eye big time at work if i tired to take 3 (a few) vacations a year. I would love to, believe me. 
DH enjoys his copious free time off though.

Because I miss my kids I spend every minute of every weekend with them. I realize I sound pretty frank in this thread but I am a very maternal mother and have a great relationship with my kids. They are my universe and the reason I do everything I do. I want a divorce but haven't done it yet because I don't want to mess them up.

Look, if i got a lower stress job or just stopped caring so much about getting promoted, sure, we would be ok. But I would sorely miss the feeling of making progress towards financial goals. I am a "long time horizon" person, that's just me. I was the kid who didn't eat the marshmallow. I worry about the future, and with good reason in my family many times!!! I always anticipate things that could go wrong and avoid them. I don't want to be foot loose and fancy free a few paychecks away from disaster, no thank you! [/quote]

Sure but there is a big difference between how you sounded all throughout your post and now. Now especially it sounds like therapy could help you. It's not going to solve everything, but it certainly seems beneficial [/quote]

My initial posts were largely pre-coffee, stressed AF about an important presentation, which I just nailed btw.

I have tried 3 therapists over the past 10 years or so. 1 after my brother died, 1 to help with grad school stress (that one was helpful) and a god awful one more recently while I was pregnant to preemptively deal with any postpartum issues which thankfully didn’t come. The last one spent her time giving me cleaning tips and didn’t let me get a word in edgewise.

I am open to therapy but in my experience it is close to impossible to find someone who can really help.

I truly believe that [b]I just feel ripped off and disgusted by what I perceive as lack of manliness (in my eyes) in my husband. I hate myself for settling for this.[/b] I hate him for not being moved even a small bit to hustle just a little more for things I care about. I used to be willing to get behind things he cared about. No longer. He is unapologetically not going to budge for me.

[/quote]

I guess you'll just be miserable, then.  I don't blame him for not making himself miserable, too, just to make more money, or to make sure that both of you are equally unhappy.  [/quote]

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