Reply to Disaster coming with brother and fiancé

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you seem to have some conflicts in your logic.

You do not like your brother's fiancé.  It seems you would prefer them not to marry, yet you complain that your future SIL has postponed the weeding and you seem to think she will continue to postpone it to preserve her rent controlled situation and her daughter's scholarship.  So, you have your wish, they will not marry.

You are fearful of your brother and his fiancé having a child.  Yet, you say she is 45.  Having a child at that age is unlikely and more so with each month that passes.

My read, is that you have always been the young girl/woman in your family and now you have competition. There is more than one princess now. I have seen it happen quite often.  Plus, your brother is the male heir- and IME, many families have a hard time accepting the male heir's chosen companion.  No one is ever good enough.  Maybe neither dynamic is going on, maybe both.  However, from your posts, I would lean on a bit of both.

I suggest taking a different perspective on the food.  You, presumably, did the food planning and shopping, so you naturally planned and purchased your family's preferred foods. No family has the same list of preferred foods.   If you had come into another family's vacation, I am sure that you would need to get a few things for you and your children as their all preferred foods would most probably not be there.  You never say, but you imply that fiancé and daughter come from a different culture- which would make the preferred food list more disparate.

I would also suggest that having a 5 year old and an 11 year old share sleeping quarters is never ideal.  I have an owl and a lark.  My sister has an owl and a lark.  When we vacation together, the larks share a room and the owls share a room.

You say that your brother does not make a lot of money.  Is this in comparison to you and your family or to the average income in NYC?  It also sounds like fiancé does not make that much money, yet she had been able to find an affordable apartment in NYC and get her daughter into a prestigious school.  She does not seem to be lacking in wherewithall.  I would say your brother is lucky to have found her. [/quote]

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