Reply to I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, first you don’t know. Maybe there is abuse, cheating, substance abuse you don’t know about.

But when it’s just a run of the mill, not abusive but mediocre marriage....I’m kinda with you. Once you’ve married and had kids with someone.....what do you think you are going to find that overall makes your life better factoring in the complications of blended families etc? Unless you really just want to be single and alone, I think the divorces often don’t make sense.[/quote]
 
My BIL and SIL are getting a divorce and basically fit your description. But as a child of an acrimonious divorce I feel there is a lot there you are pretending doesn't exist. I couldn't even be around them because their dislike and resentment for each other just dripped off of them. The passive aggressive barbs etc. They were both abjectly miserable, the guy deeply depressed and the woman turning into a version of herself she hated. Their kids tuned into their discord and stressed from having to endure that. The parents were shorter and less patient with  the kids because they were constantly in a state of anger/irritation.

Both of them are going to be better off single and alone and IMO the kids will be too. Parents being happy, or at the very least not miserable and being constantly sniped at and sniping, is good for the kids. Parents are better parents when they aren't dealing with constant anger at their spouse and can focus on their own space and responsibilities. Kids are happier when they don't feel like they are walking on eggshells through their own house.

But hey, nothing was that wrong, it was just a mediocre marriage. Maybe they just should have stuck it out and have everyone live in a state of perpetual stress for another 15 years. [/quote]

This PP is right. People really have to stop acting like divorce is the end of the world. I grew up in a house where my parents basically hated each other. I had a bad marriage myself...it affected my own choices. I'm divorced. My kids have a much better childhood than I did. [/quote]

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