Reply to GF went out on ..not sure what to call it...with a random guy..advice sought

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

[quote]
So when I am talking to a guy at my kids school and he asks if i would mind a playdate (this has happenend many times), I should assume he wants to sleep with me and decline? 
Before you all ask, YES i have had playdates with a MAN and his child and GASP.................nothing romantic happened. One was even a single dad and spent the entire time talking about home renovations. [/quote][/quote]

That's great, I agree.  Men and women can be friends without the guy having ulterior motives, without the guy lying about meeting.  And, in most cases there is no need to say no, decline.  I'm a woman and I don't instinctively feel the need to say no to every invitation.

But that's not what happened here.

The GF obviously knew this guy was up so something.  She invited a friend along because she knew why he was asking her out.

The Guy didn't ask her to a play date with the kids.  Guy asked her...just her... to dinner and drinks.  And, yes, men and women can go out as friends to dinner and drinks.  But, again, that isn't this...look at the facts.

The guy didn't invite a bunch of people (moms) for a playdate or whatever.  He invited the GF.  She added her wing-girl.

(When she didn't that the guy couldn't back out.  To obvious.  And, the guy is a p*ssy--if he wanted to ask her out he should've gotten some sack and asked her out honestly.  He put her in a bad position not OP.  I wouldn't go out with the guy; I would be pissed at him for setting me up.)

The guy didn't invite her to talk about home renovations or problems at school.  Guy asked her out to talk about dating. Which is akin to saying: "Heh, I'd like to learn what it takes to date you, so can we go out so you can tell me how to steer you away from your bf."

In fact, the guy used the fact that their daughters play together to leverage the GF into feeling like she should go.  That is pretty shitty if you ask me.

I get that women deal with all this all the time (I'm a woman and I get more than my share of attention).  But, I have found if I let myself be put in these sorts of situations, I'm not doing myself any favors.  I'm a stronger man than that.

Which makes me wonder....yes, I like having friends to, but am I so desperate for friends that I will go out with a guy who is asking me out under false pretenses?  Sounds to me like she is pretty needy and needs the attention.

If the GF had to go through all of this to feel OK abut going out with this guy, odds are she probably wold have been better served in saying something like--"yes, why don't you meet my bf and I . . ."  That way if the guy wanted advice, the guy could easily say yes to that.

Yes, I have friends who at one point were interested in me.  They are now married to other women and we all hang out.  But, that isn't this situation.  This isn't going out with a friend.  This is going out with a random guy--a guy who made the GF feel like she had to bring a friend to avoid something bad.

We should all stop creating alternative facts...you can change what happened and make all this different.  Different circumstances are different.

I have a guy friend, I've known him for 15 years.  We went out on a single date once--and we weren't for each other.  He is married, happy, kids, etc.  I go out with him.  My husband is cool with it. My husband has met him.  They've hung a bit.  We've hung out as couples..us and them.

That's not what happened here.

I bet that my husband who is fine with me going out with all sorts of friends (men even lol), would not have liked this situation.

Plus, we keep inflating the OP's reaction.  It doesn't sound like he jumped all over her for it.  All he did was ask, heh, are my concerns legit.

Frankly, as a woman, I say yes, they are.  This whole deal feels way off.[/quote]

Nailed it[/quote]

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