Reply to Beach house extended family vacation- why do women spend 80% of their time in the kitchen?

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Reply to "Beach house extended family vacation- why do women spend 80% of their time in the kitchen?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think there's a big piece that hasn't been mentioned, a lot of times in family food is love.  It's how people show love for the people around them.  They want to provide tasty foods for their loved ones to enjoy.

There's a lot of family traditions around food.  Even in memories when people start talking about things in their childhood.

I don't think you should be so hasty to discount what they do, maybe it's not your thing, but you shouldn't poo-poo it just because you don't approve.[/quote]

I think the problem is that OP doesn't enjoy the kitchen time, but still feels obligated to be there participating because all the women are there and none of the women aren't there. Certainly even the good robots of DCUM can understand how that might feel like pressure, and might lead OP to feel as if she's not actually getting a vacation. I think she does need to just decide it's ok not to participate with the other women and even if others look askance or pressure her. to hold her ground. But I definitely understand how that could be uncomfortable. In my husband's family, the women are all in the kitchen too - and I just excuse myself (I don' cook) but it doesn't always feel great to be the odd woman out.[/quote]
Ha! The good robots of dcum! Love it!
But, no they don't get it, they are the ones that in real life criticize op for not being good enough....mom, wife, sets. [/quote]

It seems like people get it, but think this is OP’s problem. Which it is.

OP doesn’t like cooking - independent thinker! Those women who do? Robots who are slaves to the patriarchy. No misogyny there, not at all!  [/quote]

It's not that the women in the kitchen are robots. It's the people in DCUM who think no one should ever have complicated emotional reactions to uncomfortable situations who are robots. Sorry if that wasn't clear. The "an invitation is not a summons!" people who don't get how relationships work for normal hoomans.

What OP is feeling is a very normal set of feelings. The people telling her that her feelings are wrong or dumb - either because it's GREAT to be in the kitchen, or because they don't get that just saying no to being there can provoke a bunch of other reactions in herself and others - are robots.[/quote]

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