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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a woman, but most of you sound absolutely EXHAUSTING and must be miserable to live with.  Most of the problems between Moms and Dads, IME, stem from one parent (usually Mom) being absolutely certain that her way is THE way and Dad needs her to “train” him into parenting correctly (read: HER way).  If you think that dynamics hasn’t gotten old for YOU, I can almost guarantee it’s been old for your spouse for a long time.[/quote]

I am so damn sick of this take. Yes, the problem is mean mommies! Not men who would literally let their children live in filth. This has major pick me girl energy and the younger generations will not buy this BS. [/quote]

Haha! PP is trying so hard to be the mom version of the “cool girl”

[/quote]

Yes, and this is soooo common. When I had a kid, I just slowly wound up eliminating the women in my life who pull this crap. They did it before we had kids, too, but it didn't annoy me as much back then because I had more bandwidth overall.

But having a child made me realize that I have no room in my life for "friends" who don't understand how empathy works and who think that anytime I confess something that has been challenging for me, it's an opportunity for them to feel or act superior. It's just unhelpful and pointless, so I just left those friendships behind.

I honestly think the only way for women to address what is clearly a systemic issue of always being the primary parent (even when we work) and partners who shirk responsibility and refuse to step up, is solidarity. I have hope that if enough of us can recognize this issue and keep speaking up about it, we can at least influence the next generation. I simply refuse to accept that this is how it has to be for my DD.[/quote]

I think some of the replies are from men, or from childless women TBH. Any married woman with children is aware of this common dynamic (whether it exists in her own marriage or not)- we all just have different ways to manage things.

I will say that when I was growing up, my own mom went back to work when the kids reached school age (as was very common). My own dad did very little with regards to house and kids. It was just the way things were, and was not considered unusual. The difference? My mom had tons of extended family support, community and neighbor support etc to rely on (and likewise, she helped others). There was always a grandma, aunt, neighbor, friend etc to help out and trade childcare with. The women all relied on each other (rather than their DHs).

These days, most don’t live near family- and grandparents generally are still working FT or are too old to help. Families are smaller. There aren’t many stay at home parents, neighbors and friends are in the same boat & are all gone working all day too.

So- women are asking their DHs for help rather than their female circle. The DHs are confused because “hey my dad never did any of this, and my mom worked too?”

This combined with the reality of modern parenting (things are a lot more demanding than we were kids) is a 1-2 punch in the gut to working mothers. [/quote]

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