Reply to Does you relationship change if you stay home ( for moms)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, a lot more sex.[/quote]

Lol. This for me too!
It’s a lot more work than you think to stay home and do the mom AND caregiver thing (these are often very different!) 24/7. But in a lot of ways it was fantastic for our marriage because[b] it really allowed us to divide and conquer.[/b]
I think the key for me was in viewing my day through a lens of how I could combine what needed to be done with the joy of being with my children. I realized that a trip to the grocery didn’t have to be fast and frantic but could actually be the morning outing with my young toddler. It made a huge difference in being frustrated VS taking time to meander through the produce section making up songs about fruit and pointing out colors. (Maybe that’s a strange example, but I think one influence in the relationship is when I was feeling blessed more than burdened by the arrangement, and this is one example of that.)
My DH loves that I was more joyful and less stressed than when I was juggling a job with our first child. And I think my happiness made me more attractive to him. He honestly didn’t push me to work or not work. He just responded to my desire and we started finding more time for each other.)

It’s not for everyone. But it was great for us.

One caution though...I think I’ve noticed in these threads that if you are one for “keeping score” on who is “carrying the mental load” or whatever then this probably won’t work as well for you. We try to take the mindset of doing things to help make each other’s day better. When we focus on that, there just seems to be a natural tendency toward reciprocation. [/quote]

I find this to be an odd sentiment. My husband and I also divide and conquer. But one of the things we divide in half is the children, so that we each do half with them. The notion of dividing and conquering by one person taking the lion's share of the work surrounding children is very unappealing to me. Glad it worked for you, I just find it strange. [/quote]

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