Reply to Does you relationship change if you stay home ( for moms)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I did marry a wonderful man who is super supportive and really into request partnership. He is the cook in our relationship and likes to clean. He said it “ takes away his stress” to do menial tasks. We do have tasks divided based on preference. He is also a very involved father and has really enjoyed being a dad. We are financially stable. He has always out earned by 3x my salary.

I’m not so much worried about equal partnership, as much as his perfection of me. I know that I will most likely be doing more since I’m staying at home. [b]He has always been very proud of me with my career, and I worry that may change. Like he will stop seeing me as this strong, driven woman and more as an assistant or “ just a mom”.[/b] [/quote]

I don't think this will necessarily happen. It didn't to me. In my case, DH thinks our kids are lucky that they have me all to themselves. He's told me that many times.[/quote]

And what happens when the kids are all gone?[/quote]

You know, most of the people on this board are not having kids in their early twenties.  By the time kids are gone, they will probably be close to retirement age anyway.  Keeping up your career so that you have something to do when the kids are out of the house doesn’t make sense when you are having your first child at 38.  [/quote]

So true.  Most people are not teen moms. What happens when the kids are all gone? Gone where? Gone forever? Or there will be more things to look forward to - weddings, grandkids, vacations?  Are people really so one-dimensional that they cannot imagine what to do with free time and more money? LOL.

Unfortunately many of  the reasons that some WOHMs say they work on this board is also beyond pathetic. They say that it is to protect themselves when the rats they have married will dump them or cheat on them or sink their financial ship.  They are willing to lose precious time with their children because they are worried what will happen when the kids leave the house?  OMG.   I believe these are very low earning WOHMs who post this stuff and probably not even from DMV.  Who talks like this in this area of high HHI and high level of education? I know SAHMs with PhDs who make decisions best for their families and no one bats an eyelid. I am surrounded with high earning WOHMs who actually love their jobs and they cherish the time with their family and prioritize that.  They are not driven by fear all the time that their husband will dump them.  This board is beyond ridiculous.[/quote]

You know that women who work still attend weddings and vacations, and are able to spend time with their grandkids? You don’t have to be a SAHM to do that. But whatever justifies your existence. These threads always end the same way. With the “never workers” defending their value.[/quote]

But I don't have to defend my own value to you. My DH has to understand my value and there is something in me that he gladly allows me to ride the gravy train and thinks that he is blessed because of the family and home I have created.

What attracted a high value alpha male who is a high earner to be happy with me and be proud that I am his wife?  Maybe it is my looks, my family, my education, my wonderful personality, my libido? Whatever it is, I don't have to go and earn money to contribute to live with him and have kids.

My value is in the fact that my DH loves to provide for me and kids very well.  I can totally understand though that beta low earning men don't want to pay for anything or help at home when the women they marry have dog faces. We have to cut them some slack too.  Alpha males are not marrying low quality women. And Alpha males do not care if their women are WOHMs or SAHMs. Their intrinsic value is not in their paychecks.  But, you won't understand that. [/quote]

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