Reply to SIL who never shows a crack in the armor

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I genuinely mean: seek therapy. It is not normal or healthy for you to be this fixated on someone.

Here's what: unless you see her everyday, or unless she sees your parents every day, why WOULDN'T she be in "guest mode" or somewhat "on"?

I see my ILs 3-4 times a year. We are all very pleasant, etc. But yes, I'm on best behavior. I like them fine, but we're not close. When I am stressed or feel vulnerable, I turn to ***my family and friends*** for support and help, not people I met a few years ago.

I'm sure I could lean on my SIL or my MIL/FIL for support and help, but...I don't need to. I have a very strong support system of family and friends. That's who I organically go to.

So if things are surface-level, "on" and best-face-forward with you and your parents, it's just because...she doesn't need you to lean on. Have you ever thought about that?

Plus, turn it around. Might she be typing, "My SIL is constantly negative, snarky, grumpy and looking for problems. I wish she could be polite, pleasant and positive FOR ONCE." Reflect on your own behavior.[/quote]

OP here. She texts everyday glowing about her awesome adventures.[/quote]

The fact she texts every day makes me think she has a compulsive need to appear perfect. Usually those people are al; about appearances. I have friends I genuinely admire, but they don't ever try to show off. They just have some great qualities-naturally optimistic, organized, etc and I try to learn from them and emulate it. The people who brag are not my cut of tea. I would just detach. Think about it, when you are happy and life is going well do you have a desire to get constant envy from others? no, if anything you want to lift them up and not make them feel bad. She is probably insecure and trying to prove to herself that life is perfect. Be polite to her. Detach. Ignore the texts and maybe just once a week when you are in the right mood you could text "Oh what a cute puppy! Glad you are keeping a positive attitude! So sorry I can't respond to texts as often because life is hectic right now. Happy to hear all is well with you!"[/quote]

+1[/quote]

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