Reply to Does SAHM make a difference during infant years?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]One thing that influenced my decision to SAH was that on my maternity leave I was around nannies a lot and many of them were mediocre at best. I remember going to story times at the library and the majority of nannies just ignored the kids (and the people from the library) and stared at their phones or chatted with one another, rather than engage with the kids during the story time. Same at parks and playgrounds. It wasn’t everyone — there were some engaged nannies. But most were bored and inattentive.
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When I read the posts on here but everyone’s amazing nannies... I’m sure some people really did have great nannies who engaged your children and cared for them in a really attentive way. But IME that’s not how most nannies are. It was very obvious to me that I was way more focused on my child’s well being than most of the nannies I encountered were on that of the kids they were with. And particularly for children under 18 months (at which point they are fully mobile and not only can handle more independence but need it) there’s no question that a child benefits from being with a truly living and attentive caregiver.

I will say that the most engaged caregivers I encountered during my leave and SAHM days were the grandmas. Even more than most moms, who also get bored and stare at their phones a lot. If that’s an option for you, I’d seize it![/quote]

This is so true.  I guarantee you that most of the moms on here raving about their "amazing nannies" have no idea what goes on during the day.  [/quote]

No, I know what goes on during the day with our amazing nanny.  I’ve always worked from home and have watched her with our kids.  I see the fun they have and know that my oldest is far, far ahead of his milestones and has an amazing vocabulary.  Even WOH parents hear from other parents and neighbors about their nannies.

You can guarantee nothing, PP.  [/quote]

Not PP, but you really can’t speak to the point because you are working at home do you actually see your nanny. Sounds like you have a great one. But the point is that there are LOTS of unengaged, bare minimum nannies around, and if you spend any time around playgrounds, libraries, or other places babies/toddlers tend to be, you’ve seen them. Those nannies have to work for someone. Maybe they are more engaged or attentive at home or when the parents can see. But there is no question that many parents are paying nannies who are pretty middling at their jobs— kids are safe and fed, but are definitely not getting what I would consider an appropriate level of adult interaction and just plain old kindness. Your nanny might be great, but not all nannies are great. [b]I’d roughly estimate it at 10-20% are fantastic, and the rest are a mixed bag.[/b][/quote]

The same could be said about SAHMs. [/quote]

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