Reply to Why have a baby when your 40?

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[quote=Anonymous]When I was in my 20s there was a news story about a woman having children via some new method (sorry, don't remember what it was) in her mid to late 40s. I was visiting my parents at the time the story came out and my dad had this very visceral, negative reaction. He said it was "disgusting" and "unnatural" and that he felt sorry for children born to older mothers. I told him he was being ridiculous and weirdly judgmental and what business was it of his, but he maintained his position.

Cut to almost 20 years later. I had my first baby in my late 30s and am contemplating a second in my early 40s. I feel like becoming a mother at this age is keeping me young -- I spend most of my time running after a toddler and while it's exhausting, it's also enormously rewarding. I feel like I have so much to offer my child in large part because I lived a very full and varied life before having a baby. I sometimes laugh that all the odd jobs of my somewhat meandering career seemed random at the time, but are now exactly what I need to be a great mom. And I so look forward to being present for my kids as they grow older and become adults. I know I don't have the luxury of time or assuming I'll be around for grandchildren or other major events in my children's lives. So instead I focus on making sure the time we have is meaningful. And I take great care of myself because I want to make sure my kids have me around as long as they need me.

Meanwhile, my parents had their children very young (19 and 21) and by the time they were my age, they were already old. They were in their 20s and early 30s when their kids were young, and yet most of my memories of my childhood are of my parents complaining about us, saying no to everything, clearly unhappy with their lives.

I don't think you have to wait to have kids, but I think parents who make the affirmative choice to have children later in life are often some of the best parents. I feel sorry for my dad and others who don't understand that parenthood is a gift and that, like many such gifts, it is often wasted on those who least appreciate it.[/quote]

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