Reply to Dating a Red Piller

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I think the point is men often seek hot extroverted women who then treat them poorly over the nice girls who may be attractive enough but lack that hot girl status. After years of getting played/dumped by the hot crazy girl the men settle for a nice girl. Then after ten years the men get tired of their aging wife and cheat on her and ignore her. [/quote]

Nah. The cute-but-not-hot nice girls were also writing "Chad" with little hearts in their high school notebooks; not pining over the reasonably attractive captain of the chess team.[/quote]

The reasonably attractive captain of the chess team was pining over the prom queen, not thinking about the OK looking girl on the debate team.

Bro, I can do this all day. [/quote]

Chess team guy was fantasizing about all of them. Guaranteed. [/quote]

I am a woman, feels relevant to disclose pre post here.

Culture does this in reverse and always has. Josie Grossie turns into beautiful Drew Barrymore. She's All That chick becomes becomes unbelieveably gorgeous as soon as she takes off her glasses, takes down her hair and puts on a tight dress. And suddenly is visible to all the hot guys. Weird Science nerds create a supermodel. Someone like overweight Jonah Hill scores Emma Stone despite being an uncool loser.

There are tons of movies that are literally about a hot chick falling in love with a fat schlub of a guy (like anything Seth Rogan and Adam Sandler has made).

How many romantic comedies has Melissa McCarthy starred in? There are SOME romantic comedies with less conventionally attractive leads but they are far and few between. Women are held to an impossibly higher beauty standard then men could ever be. You can see this clearly in watching basically any media.

The red pill ideology says that sex is transactional, a reality that is not reflected in the way women think. I have helped many people move, many people, including men, have helped me move. Some of them I have been involved with, others I have not. Some of them were dating other women at the time. We all ordered pizza and beer afterward. We were friends. If a woman is asking you to help her move she feels comfortable with you and believes that you care about her.

If you're interested in a woman and want to be taken seriously then sure, a lot of this practical advice is helpful. Be open about your expectations and wants, don't be jerked around, etc. That is good advice for anyone, male or female, in dating. The problem is that the philosophies underpinning this advice are toxic. Evangelical Christianity wants people to treat their sexuality carefully and with love. To not give your body away  and to be careful in who you choose to trust with it. This is good advice. But of course it is based on the idea that a man is entitle to his wife's virginity and therefore a woman's body is not solely her own. The toxic underpinning philosophy creates the direction that you slide down the slippery slope. And its a slope that leads towards repressed sexuality and misogyny.

The toxic underpinning of the red pill ideology means its good advice is muddied by everything that surrounds it. It creates a framework where the good advice is based in something that makes you fundamentally respect the women you are dating less. You have assigned them a worldview and motivation structure that frames them as shallow and transactional. Therefore you are permitted to behave shallowly and transactionally. You believe you would not have had dating success without this, so your girlfriend/wife/whatever is a shallow creature who had to be manipulated into loving you. The justification for your behavior, which is not bad on its face, reveals ugly things about the way you see the world. Your means to achieving the end of a successful relationship have laid toxic seeds that will eventually, IMO, poison the relationship. [/quote]

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