Reply to Here's the thing I don't understand about husbands who don't help out

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[quote=Anonymous]You know, it’s not always possible to know your DH will turn out like this before marriage. I know everyone on dcurbanmom thinks they would NEVER tolerate this think they can avoid this sort of problem just by making better decisions, but that’s not always true.

When we were dating, our life was simpler and DH was able to handle things in a way that looked normal to me or quirky at worst. He did help out and he held down a job and was kind.

After we had our first kid, we went through a huge adjustment. I was doing more than him but the spread didn’t feel too bad-we were at maybe 65/35 with me doing more but him doing a lot.

Then came the 2nd kid, who ended up having severe SN. We also moved across the country for our jobs, and DH has had some health challenges.

All hell has broken loose and I now feel I do 95% of everything.

I can’t leave because then he’d have my kids half the time, and my children would be in a dirty house watching tv 24/7 and eating McDonald’s.

I can’t control everything. Sometimes things don’t work out great and you make the best of things. DH isn’t mean and doesn’t yell. But he’s very checked out and not helpful.[/quote]

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