Reply to Does a blended family actually work?

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Reply to "Does a blended family actually work?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The resentment toward step-relations is astounding. Is it anger about divorce? Competition? Wouldn’t life be easier if you embraced and formed relationships with steps? I know multiple people whose relationships with step-siblings is incredibly strong, and I do think with the right attitudes it is possible to create a family dynamic that works.[/quote]

You are absolutely right that positive attitudes BY EVERYONE can make it work.  This includes biological parents, stepparents, in laws, and all bio/step kids.

Sadly, the vast majority will never be able to achieve this for a variety of reasons including biological hard-wiring favoring their own children, resentment over resources, and just plain anger and jealousy because the family of origin dissolved.  Introducing new people into this kind of boiling environment, no matter how decent or well-meaning they are, will inevitably fail.

Most people want their choice of spouse to be at least accepted with an open mind by their loved ones. Certainly most kids would like it if their parents gave their spouse a chance.  It also includes parents who want to find a partner.  Look at the poster above you for a clue.  Words like "command performance" and "sad charade of a family" are telling.

None of this will ever change until education about stepfamilies is approached in a comprehensive manner which deals with the emotional and mental issues that can arise. It includes courts recognizing that parental alienation after divorce is real and can have a profoundly negative impact on children.  It also means resolving and dispelling the age-old stereotypes regarding stepparents. The vast majority of stepparents are doing incredible jobs trying to balance everyone's complex lives, not step on anyone's toes, figure out when to step back and when to lean forward, and still be able to love whom they chose without prejudice.

The reality is we are living longer and the odds that most people will stay with one person for 60 years or more is not realistic.  Statistically there will be more than one partner in a person's life. It's time we address it.    [/quote]

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