Reply to Does a blended family actually work?

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Does a blended family actually work?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It seems like the general consensus here is if you divorce, no family for you. I get divorce is awful, and it’s awful for all involved, not just the children, but how is it that you should then be doomed to a life of solitude? Marriage and family are normal desires, and those that are divorced still have normal human desires.

If you are able to navigate a blended family in a reasonable, responsible, mature way, I think it can work. We only live once, one shouldn’t deprive themselves of happiness because of a past error. [/quote]

No, I think the general consensus here is that it is dishonest to pretend that there is not a very high probability of significant negative consequences on the first set of kids.  You have to make your decision and live with the consequences; it is the pretending that there aren’t, or shouldn’t be, any such consequences that people are reacting so negatively to.

Just speaking for myself, who was in a relatively late and relatively benign situation: it is at minimum deeply obnoxious to be pressured to pretend that people you aren’t related to, have nothing in common with, and don’t particularly like are “family.”  It’s worse when they make bad decisions regarding relationships, money, or substances—your family life is now pressured, and potentially compromised, by people you have no interest in.  And they are at every Christmas, Thanksgiving, graduation, etc.  Forever.  The reasonable best case, it seems to me, is for the initial set of children to distance themselves from the family unit in general, with a reasonably high probability of some sort of train wreck.  I’m sure there are a few outliers with very positive experiences.  I understand the feeling that it shouldn’t have to be that way.  But reality is what it is. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics