Reply to Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr

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Reply to "Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So a man who has a thoughtless but very long-term sex affair is either depressed/self-destructive or bored but it never really has to do with his real relationship?[/quote]

It 99.9% has to do with HIM.  The majority come from dysfunctional families with cheating fathers and often absent mothers. Period.  This comes out in midlife.[/quote]

I’ve never heard the “absent mother,” thing, ever. This is all depressing. How can such a person have an otherwise extremely high marital satisfaction score? It makes no sense![/quote]

Absent in a sense that she checked out after the affair/alcohol and divorce from depression.  Kid gets by by turning into an intense perfectionist and pleaser.

But, midlife that need for validation and love and all the other screwed upness from that childhood comes out.

His mom never came to any sports' games or school events.  Dad was going through a series of hos.  Somehow he ended up top of class and highly successful and got the f. out determined to be different...which is why he found a partner from a very stable and loving family. He lived it for awhile until the age his firstborn was when his own life fell apart and dad left in elementary and mom sunk into a depression and later self-centeredness.[/quote]

Are you the poster with the perfect DH but for his affair, who keeps threatening to ruin the OWs 50th birthday?[/quote]

Huh?  No[/quote]

There’s a woman who posts that ^^ a lot, believe it or don’t. You’re not coming across like a therapist if that’s your profession. To be honest though the thread is confusing, and there are people seeing to offer a lot of supposed expertise in a weird way.[/quote]

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