Reply to “Can you serve me some?” How would you reply?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Whenever we share a meal with a certain older (but totally able-bodied) relative, he will try to “cut the line” to have someone serve him. If we are serving buffet style, he’ll reach his arm in and say “can you just put some on my plate?” as I’m actively preparing my own plate. [b]Or if we are seated and passing the food, he’ll reach his arm out and ask for something from the other end of the table that is being passed down but not to him yet. “Can I have some shrimp?” I want to scream “it’s coming! Wait your damn turn!” [/b]He will be the first to sit down a the table without everything he needs but then ask others to wait on him (can you bring me a fork/napkin/iced tea/whatever.) It’s super annoying as I’m trying to serve myself and my children.

What is the best way to get him to stop this, without sounding bitchy, but also not a doormat?

TIA.[/quote]
A lot of posters seem to be missing this. The FIL is asking to have food passed to him that's making the rounds out-of-order. That's exceedingly selfish and rude. If I were OP, I'd just say, it's on it's way or something similar. Presumably there are other little kids at the table, and accommodating bad manners will teach everyone a bad lesson.[/quote]

But she should have begun service with him.  I don't understand why OP and you don't seem to get that.  If you insist on serving by passing around then you begin the passing at the person of highest honor, which in a family situation is the female or male who is the oldest.  If OP is doing family service, then she still should have begun with the person of highest honor.  That's why she is wrong and that's why she is being rude.[/quote]

I'm not, in my 40s, figuring out who has the highest honor and getting the serving dish to them. I would say to FIL "the shrimp is on it's way!"[b] However, for serving from a buffet, I don't see anything wrong with asking people if I can fix their plates and. I would do guests are served first.[/b] Is there a MIL in this situation? If so maybe start giving them both first dibs or ask your DH to offer to fix them both a plate. I get why it's frustrating.[/quote]

What is the point of a buffet if you’re going to serve everyone? Just have a plated meal then.[/quote]

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