Reply to How many kids makes you a weirdo?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am pregnant with #4 (my oldest just turned 5).  I don’t work anymore and we have a lot of help (nanny + part-time housekeeper, and I’ll have a night nurse for the first 12 or so weeks).  It’s not uncommon in my circle to have 3 or 4, but I definitely have gotten a few “whoa!” comments.  All of our children were planned, but I get a lot of assumptions that we couldn’t possibly want 4 under age 5.  We always set out to have a big family and I’d rather get the baby stage finished! Plus it’s so lovely to have them near in age. My oldest two are 17 months apart and they are very close. [/quote]

I can’t even tell you how many people freely and vocally assumed or asked if my third was an “accident” when I was pregnant just because I already had one boy and one girl and then looked at me like I had multiple heads when I told them the third was very much planned. It was very strange. And rude.[/quote]

Yes! I’ve posted about this before but my MIL cornered me just as soon as she could after I announced I was expecting #3 to ask with faux concern if “this was an accident.” She truly could not understand WHY we would purposely have another child when we had “one of each.” [/quote]

NP. We have 2 boys and a girl, and we had comments from well meaning people about how "perfect" it was now and that our family was "complete" and stuff like that. It's annoying because I really want a 4th (and DH is open to it), and we would definitely do it if our circumstances were a bit better. But it would be annoying that people would think it was strange and then question our judgement (or feel bad for us if we had a boy because they assumed we must be going for another girl).

I think once you hit 40 people also assume that you're done having kids, even when the others are still very young. Some people want to convince themselves that if you're 40 then you can't have kids naturally (because they couldn't) so they have to be expensive and a lot of treatments and why would do you do all of that if your family is already "perfect"?[/quote]

Generally, nationally, it’s not typical to have a kid over 40. And it’s less safe and advisable than having a kid before 40. So it’s totally okay for people to assume that you’re done having kids once you hit 40. [/quote]

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