Reply to Advice to younger women to marry wisely

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Advice to younger women to marry wisely"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]1) Would you ever give away a pet because you felt like moving somewhere that didn't allow them, or because you decided you wanted to travel for an extended time? 
2) If you won the lottery, what if anything would you change about your life? 
3) Does he believe parents should pay for children's college costs or are children on their own as adults once they turn 18? Should parents do whatever it takes (within reason) to make their kid's dreams come true?  For example, if Larla gets into Princeton but you only saved enough for UMD, how would the two of you handle that?
4) If he got sick or injured and couldn't continue in his chosen career and/or earn as much, can he imagine himself still finding happiness in life?
5) Does the person's "Love Language" match yours? This could impact on how much work it will take for him meet your emotional needs and the likelihood that he will.
6) How does spending throughout life on experiences (travel, parties. dinners out, weddings, etc...) balance with saving for a financial security, retirement and so on?
7) Are you on the same page about your financial status, financial goals, and the financial situation in your families of origin? Many people assume that the other person "gets" that they value a meaningful vocation over a big paycheck, or that they expect to stop working once a baby comes along. Other questions along these lines: Is he willing to invest in you and you in him to meet your goals, like by paying for grad school or forgoing income while you get more training or education? Does he assume it's an option for him to one day leave behind his lucrative career to pursue his true calling as a musician or kindergarten teacher? If you're not okay with that, you need to know before walking down the aisle and having kids with him. And likewise, how would he feel if you changed your current career trajectory?
8) What does he believe you would each "owe" one another if you were to divorce?  (Frankly, I think that people should be required to do a prenup, especially if they hope to have children. The shit that comes out during divorce proceedings is mind blowing. Dads not wanting to pay child support because mom might spend it on things she'd also enjoy, trying to minimize how much he has to spend on child support, being fine with the kids watching their mom suffer financially, etc...  SMH.) 
9) Does he think that his life no longer being completely under his control mean he's less of a man?  I had no idea that my ExH thought that "submitting" to his marriage, even if I did the same, was something awful that caused him tremendous stress. 
10) Does he have the ability to laugh at his mistakes?  Can he recognize his mistakes or forgive himself for them in a light-hearted way?  If he can't forgive his own mistakes, he'll never be able to forgive yours.  And since you're only human, you undoubtedly will make some throughout the course of your marriage.
11) Does he think that if he's no longer feeling "in love" with you, this means you should split up?  How will he handle this when it inevitably happens? Will he lean in or run?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics