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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My advice would be to focus first on yourself.[b]  Figure out who you are and what you want out of life.  Be realistic about what marriage entails.[/b]  Be open to experiences and people that may not immediately check off every box.  Let go of the fairy tales. [b] Don't be so hyper-focused on finding the right man.  Work on yourself first.  That way, you'll increase the chances of making the right decision when you meet the guy who could be the right one when the time comes.  
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More often than not (obvious red flags aside), we find ourselves having to decide whether to marry someone based upon foresight.  You THINK he's this or that based on what you've seen so far, but there's no way to truly know how he will be 5, 10, or 20 years down the road.  You just hope the person you picked changes in a way that's compatible with how you will change as you go through life together.  There is truly no way to ensure you've married wisely until you reach a point in life where you can look back and make a determination based upon what was right for YOU.      [/quote]

Excellent advice. 
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I disagree somewhat. Your personality and natural inclinations are pretty much set by mid 20s. Everyone changes with time and experience, but the core of who you/they are and how you/they approach the world does not change much.  People who marry 28-32 have the lowest divorce rates. 
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Life can throw a lot at you.  How people respond to all the bumps in the road can surprise you.  Also, I don't think how you approach the world stops changing in your 20s.  Experiences change you over time in ways you cannot predict.[/quote]

This is PP. I agree with most of what you said, which is why I find the notion of "finding yourself" before committing to marriage somewhat misguided. There isn't much that you will learn post mid-twenties that will help you make a better match. If that were the case, people who marry later in life or second marriages would be more successful, and they aren't.[/quote]

That's why getting your career going and focusing on YOU BEFORE you enter marriage are the MOST important things. You never know what will happen in life. You need to 100% be able to support yourself.[/quote]

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