Reply to I can’t do this anymore. I think I am having a mental meltdown

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]SAHM, just stop! Oftentimes there are unwarranted and unfair attacks on SAH parents on this board, but this is not one of them.

WAH full-time in quarantine is fine, easy even.
SAHP/ schooling kids in quarantine is fine, enjoyable even.
[b]Doing both[/b] is hellish and exhausting.  I know, because I did it for 2.5+ months.
We recently hired a nanny who works 3-4 days, and I am juggling leave to basically be "off" with the kids the other 1-2 days.  Guess what? EASY. FUN!

It's not staying at home in quarantine with the kids that is hard.  It is working 40-60 hours full-time while doing so that is miserable.[/quote]

I’m not a SAHM.  I am a child psychiatrist who took some time off during my fellowship when my child had leukemia and everyone told me that it would be the death of my career, that I was going to cause the entire fellowship to go under, etc etc.  
It didn’t happen.  My career is fine.  
And when this happened, I handed over some of my groups and things to colleagues whose spouses were out of work, and I only manage meds.  Also, not the death of my career.  
I have had close friends tell me that part time work is never possible in their field, that no one will hire them again if they quit, etc.  then something happens that forces the issue, and it’s fine.

If I had a guess, most likely scenario for most of the women on this board...If you went in to quit, your boss would work with you to make it work.  As someone said earlier in this thread, no one wants to interview, hire, and train someone new in the middle of a pandemic.

Stand up for yourself.  Don’t get to the point you are having a breakdown before you decide to make a change.  [/quote]

I understand your point but you are coming from a place of great privilege if you think most women can just quit their jobs. We have no social safety net here. The current policy is just to let the people who can’t afford to stay home risk their health. Not everyone has choices and they are not trying to make it so that people do.

I will not quit, for financial reasons and professional ones. Tenured faculty in my field can’t just walk off their jobs and get rehired in the same city when they want to come back. It doesn’t work like that. There are plenty of professions where the on and off ramps just aren’t there. If you worked in one you would definitely know it. Glad things worked out for you, but that doesn’t mean your advice is broadly relevant.[/quote]

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