Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]New to this thread and reluctant to post but I thought I’d contribute my mindset. Mid 40s, married 10 years, and I’ve stepped out on DW a few times. Each time has been on a business trip with a random person (I.e. not a colleague). The “why” for me is simple: a desire for the sexual variety I enjoyed in my 20s and early 30s. It has nothing to do with my sex life with DW. By definition, she can’t give me the variety that I sometimes crave.

The idea of a long-term affair at home is gross to me. Not interested in that at all. And I’m disgusted and ashamed that I’ve done this. But once in a while I just find the urge to get laid by someone new completely uncontrollable and irresistible. I don’t plan to do it again. [b]I hope I don’t[/b]. But I didn’t “plan” it when it’s happened either.[/quote]

If you actually don't want to do it again, do more than "hope." Get yourself some therapy to figure out why you feel entitled to do this, before it ends up blowing up your life.  Your wife deserves way better.  You lack boundaries, need to figure out why and how to strengthen them and respect your wife.[/quote]

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