Reply to Therapist Won't Condemn my Partner's Affair.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I wanted to sit back and watch this unfold. I'm a man. My wife was screwing her colleague. She would never have stopped. I found out by accident (several actually)

I had considered trying fixing things but I couldn't move past the fact that she actually didn't care that she was caught and destroyed our family. The only way this ended o its own was through fizzling out or moving. And that's the part that grossed me out the most. She was fine to play wife and family while the rest of us werent playing at all. We thought we were living real lives.[/quote]

OP. Having been where your wife is ... is there resentment? Is she angry at you for some reason? Is she hurting? Not excusing her, just asking the questions. It sounds as if she was using her affair to get out of the marriage.[/quote]

Would you ask a woman with a cheating husband the same things? I mean does anyone ask a cheating husband if he's angry or hurtin'?[/quote]

Yes, go back and look at earlier pages in the thread, including references to Esther Perel and understanding why the cheating husband did what he did.

Some may treat this differently now that the genders are reversed. I'm not one. I read OP's bitter and nasty statements and how he can barely refrain from telling his kids terrible things about their mom. Having an affair does not equal POS, etc. Not condoning affairs, never had one, I hope my SO hasn't. But the vibe from OP is nuts and there may have been seriously valid reasons why his spouse went elsewhere.[/quote]

Agree. If you love your kids you do NOT trash their relationship with their other parent. That is narcissistic rage more likely. [/quote]

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