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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^YES!  I just don’t understand why not discuss with your spouse to open up marriage or divorce. I don’t understand why cheating is the only option.

Also, this idea of fluid monogamy, based on whenever you feel justified in stepping out of marriage, is also something I would want to understand in my partner before marriage. Hopefully these people would speak the truth when asked about their thoughts on monogamy but I don’t trust that they would speak the truth.  I’ve never heard monogamy defined as conditional commitment.  This would be a deal breaker for me and would want to know in advance.

[/quote]

I doubt that such a conversation would tell you much.  It's just not in the parties' minds. I'm in a sexless marriage.  My wife and I actually did discuss the importance of sex in a relationship before we were married.  And we agreed on that point.  I'm sure it never occurred to my wife that she would want to stay married while ending sex. Just as it never occurred to me whether such an unforeseen situation would "justify" infidelity.  [/quote]

So what do you recommend?  I think the discussion around whether monogamy is conditional would bear fruit?  Some people are committed and wouldn’t cheat vs. some who will justify their action to cheat.  How do you gauge what is their character?  How do you gauge the ones who won’t and will do the right thing (divorce, counseling etc.).  There are many men around me who would do the right thing.[/quote]

Denying your spouse is the wrong thing.

Not everyone is a "wear a hair shirt, suffer in silence and hope for reward in the afterlife" type.

Not everyone will present the other cheek after you slap them across the face.  Some people slap back.  That's not a character flaw.[/quote]

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