Reply to SAHMs, how did you decide when or if to go back to work

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went back to full time work this year, kids are 11 and 9. I didn’t need to financially, just thought it would Be nice to have something for myself, have something to do other than volunteer, exercise and watch tv. I worked part time previously and thought it made sense to go back to full time work

Here’s what happened. Work sucks. My co workers are lame, there is no flexibility. I am punishing myself with this stupid job for no reason. Almost a year in and I’m counting the days until I can quit. Literally.

Maybe there is some magic job out there where it’s more value add than value take, but this one isn’t it. [/quote]

This is what the worry about. Work has always sucked ime[/quote]

+1, that's how I remember it which is why I'm in no hurry to go back.[/quote]

The thing is if you stay in the workforce you EARN flexibility, you build up vacation time, you work your way up and have work to do that you enjoy (whatever that means to you...the substance of the work, more or less responsibility, etc.), you build relationships and gravitate to co-workers you enjoy, you contribute something of value and are seen as someone who brings value which circles back to earning flexibility.

But no, you're not going to come back to the workforce after 5-10+ years out and step into a great situation.  Which is why I'd think twice about quitting in the first place.

I think it's short sighted[/quote]

-1 Almost all my SAHM friends stepped back into the workforce after 5+ years with zero issues. [/quote]

They might think they didn’t have any issues but I can assure you they would have more flexibility and bargaining power had they never left.  I’ve even had recent conversations with SAHMs who want a referral at my company.  They ask about TW and I have to tell them that they can probably TW one day a week.  The 2-3x a week is for employees who have been there a while.

[/quote]

You are missing the fact that many SAHMs don't *want* to enter where and how they left off.  You are talking about a subset of SAHMs and likely not the wealthy ones like OP that we are discussing.  Many of these women do indeed snag 2-3 days a week, but in different types of jobs - exactly the type of jobs they are (now) looking for.  The women looking at your company don't represent all returning moms and what they are looking for and finding.[/quote]

Huh?   The SAHMs I’m talking about are all in 500k plus HHI households.  But maybe this isn’t wealthy enough for you. [/quote]

Well no, OP is clearly in a different ball park financially than that.

I do agree with your main point that staying in the workforce gives you more flexibility and bargaining power.  But I think the women taking time off to SAHM are more likely to not want to return to that type of position in the first place.  If they had the flexibility and finances to leave the workforce for many years, they probably aren't looking to return to a high power position that would suck up a lot of time, require travel.  It's just not what they are looking for, especially since they still have kids and those schedules to work around (albeit kids not as young as prek/elementary ages).  [/quote]

What you’re missing is that women get penalized in almost all industries and levels of seniority for stepping out of the workforce.  Unless you’re talking about menial labor or retail jobs, SAHMs really do have a harder time demanding flexibility when returning to work.  It isn’t just for high powered positions.

OP really isn’t in a different ballpark financially from a family with a DH earning 500k.  It’s all pretty similar in terms of education, neighborhoods, schools etc.  Now if OP’s entire HHI was from inherited wealth, then sure that’s a different “ball park” as you say.

[/quote]

I think the lifestyle for a seven figure family is just different from a 500k - we'll have to agree to disagree on that.  Simply affording private school alone for three kids for example - let's say $120k a year.  That's a stretch for a 500k family.

The wealthiest SAHMs (this is a subset of returning moms, remember) aren't "demanding flexibility" from specific positions - they are applying for (and fortunately! this is all good news!) getting the type of jobs that come WITH flexibility by default (local government, nonprofits, preK teacher).  And yes some of those jobs might be menial like a pilates teacher - again, by choice. [/quote]

How is affording private a stretch?   You choose three kids.  You choose private.  So, you choose to cut back in other areas. [/quote]

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