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[quote=Anonymous]I feel you OP. I too have a high achieving DD. She and I both know that her chances are low of getting into an elite school but we both also know her chance goes to zero without keeping her grades high. So she puts a lot of pressure on herself.  Although I don’t always succeed, I believe my job is to help her dial down the self-imposed pressure. This is child specific of course.

Here is what I do. I talk a lot with her about doing what is in her control but not worrying about what is not in her control.  Did she do her best on a test but she didn’t understand something and she got a lower than usual grade?  Well that’s what learning is all about and how can she figure out how to get ahead of the material. Did she do poorly because she blew something off?  Well that’s on her and it’s ok to feel mad at yourself about that.  That being said, we talk about how we are human and we make bad choices occasionally and talk about what an appropriate amount of slack she should give herself.  I would never try to manage her grades with a spreadsheet - I don’t keep track of her stuff. If she is self motivated, she’ll figure out a system that works for her (or ask for help from me or someone else to come up with a system).

Oh and I wake her up every day because she doesn’t like alarms and I like to do it for her.  [/quote]

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