Reply to Parents are NOT notified by the college if the child gets in trouble, e.g. drugs, alcohol in dorm?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We just dropped off our oldest at college that is a plane ride away. My spouse and I entered into the agreement to pay his tuition without any expectation of the university reporting his status. He turned 18 this summer. We’ve worked really hard to teach him to make good choices and how to get out of rough situations. Now we need to let go. It’s not easy. But damn if I’m going to manage this kid for the rest of my life. T[/quote]

Straw man. Nobody said anything about micro managing. OP discussed when teen is in trouble. A parent SHOULD be notified of a teen freshman is sexually assaulted or caught with drugs in dorm or in the hospital for alcohol poisoning. The secrecy WHEN YOUR CHILD IS IN DANGER is alarming. [/quote]
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You are SO wrong.  It is not secrecy.  It is PRIVACY.  18 year olds are not minors.  College administrators are not guardians or custodians.  College freshmen are entitled to medical privacy.  [/b]

I was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning my sophomore year in college after my drink at a frat party was poisoned.  I was found passed out in a dorm bathroom.  Despite paying my own way way th scholarships and loans and despite being 19, I was shocked that my university contacted my parents to say I was on academic probation for underage drinking.  It was a complete violation of my privacy and it did no good for me at all.  I did not have a drinking problem.  I had a frat guy rapist problem and I solved the problem by never socializing among frat boy rapists again.  But my parents not only decided I had a drinking problem, they shared this information with the extended family.  It was humiliating and hurtful, more than anything because I was a victim of someone trying to take advantage of me and yet everyone judged me.  I wish I had known about FERPA back then.  I might have gone to law school just to sue the pants off my college

Two years later, I had was raped on campus.  I didn’t report it to campus police, in large part because I didn’t trust them not to inform my useless, judgmental parents, who would then share gossip with our extended family.

Freshmen are adults.  Parents have no rights nor should they.
[/quote]

Agree.  These parents are H E L I C O P T E R S for life.  They will turn into In-laws from hell too.

It doesn't matter who is paying.  An 18yr old is an adult.  If you didn't raise your child for 18 years to become an independent adult, that is YOUR bad parenting skills.  Time to let go.

PP, I am really sorry that happened to you.  Truly sorry you were violated by a rapist and so many others that should have given you privacy and respect.  [/quote]

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