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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Time for a postnup.  His reaction to the suggestion will tell you a lot.  He needs to transfer a large sum or a significant asset into your sole name as your non-marital property as a surety for his good faith, plus an agreement for an above and beyond split in your favor should you divorce.  If he's not interested in that?  He is looking for an exit.  [/quote]
 I am a woman and disagree.   If a wife asks for this type of postnup, it look like the wife is looking for an exit strategy as much as it would make the husband for not giving it. Bad suggestion all around [/quote]

+1. Only a fool would agree to this. If a wife unilaterally cuts off sex, do husbands get a similar arrangement? How about an affair partner fund. [/quote]

My now exDH cheated on me.  I wish I had asked for a post-nup.  His reaction would have been telling.  Instead, he begged me to stay.  I remember asking/telling him -- please don't ask me to do this if you are not sure that you want this relationship/me or if you are not sure you can be monogamous.  He swore up and down that he did want our relationship and he would/could stop.

Of course, over the course of the next two years, he continued to cheat.  In contracts, there is a theory of "opportunity cost".  The time and effort I spend on something when I could have done something else is actually a cost to me.  My now exDH got a second chance and I not only got nothing, but that second chance cost me years that I will never get back.  A post-nup isn't blackmail or a bad suggestion.  It's just acknowledgement of the opportunity cost that an unfaithful husband is asking a faithful wife to give up.  A man who can't recognize that is a man that doesn't deserve  second chance. [/quote]

I completely agree with this. He perpetrated fraud on you, and exposed you to possible deadly STD's. Not to mention years wasted. You can't compare cheating to being a B like the above poster tried to do. I think in divorce if a person can prove cheating there should be some significant cost.

I'm sure he would have refused giving some bogus reason and blaming you for even suggesting such a thing, lol. Cheaters lie and deflect, they are very damaged individuals.

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