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[quote=Skyeblue]I was the stepson in this scenario (now adult woman).

My parents were friends with a couple; the wife in the couple was my dad's editor. That couple had a 2 yo. I babysat for the 2 yo when I was 12 (this was in the 80's when people did that more). The couple regularly came to our house for dinner. I remember sitting at the table while the 4 adults talked and I played with the toddler....who then became my stepbrother when my dad left my mom, editor left her husband, and my dad married editor....within a year. They moved to another state. My stepmom also never felt an ounce of regret.

They had a decent 10 years together. My sister and I tolerated her because we wanted a relationship with our dad. Her son was socially maladjusted for lots of reasons, including the extent to which she alienated him from his bio father. At some point she recognized my dad for the workaholic that he always was and started drinking.That would have wrecked their marriage but she developed breast cancer (no family history, never smoked) and died at 44. I don't miss her. Her son took a nosedive and had to be hospitalized, has now recovered and is doing fairly well. My dad remarried and is now fine, although his 3rd wife is more of a roommate.

Moral of this story: My stepmom's legacy was a series of poor choices. A series. Not one, not one in isolation, and she's not around to provide footnotes for why it was all ok or her first husband sucked or she was unloved as a child or whatever. I'm sure life wasn't fair for her, but I bet it was better than some. She was like a wrecking ball in our family, and we've all mostly healed, but even as a 12 yr old I knew her moral compass was broken. It's pretty bad when a tween looks at an adult and thinks, "you don't get it lady". I'm 44 now and I've never changed my mind.

She could have turned it around at some point. Kids don't want to stay angry. I was hurting inside for years while they played house, but I got over it because I knew I had to. You have a chance to write this story in a way that will lessen the damage. Don't let your current attitude dictate your narrative.

I say this as someone with 3 decades of perspective. Good luck.

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