Reply to First X-Mas as blended family off to terrible start

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP and her husband are assholes for having another child. if it were OP's first child I would understand... but she already has two young children and her husband is already a grandpa several times over. I am usually supportive of having kids, having additional kids, making it work etc. but even for me this is just... too much. the daughter is rightfully resentful but at the same time her accusations and scenes should not have happened. the children should have refused to come and, next year, probably will.[/quote]

Assholes are adults who have expectations of their parents.  Grow up. Learn a little gratitude toward the people who raised you.  And let go of the tit in your mouth, it's not becoming on a 29-year old with a damn family of their own. [/quote]

a 60 year man old many having his fourth baby with a much younger woman (who already brought 2 of her own kids into the marriage) is - an idiot, a loser, immature... certainly not in position to lecture a 29 year old of any sort. this has nothing to do with gratitude, just calling it as it is.

and yes, members of a family have expectations from each other forever. otherwise they are just acquaintances.

i am close to 50 and my own, happily married parents, passed away many years ago. if one of them were alive today and not only got married but had a baby i would consider them senile. [/quote]

Anyone who wiped your helpless bum covered in baby shit when you weren't able to do it yourself, put food in your mouth, roof over your head, money in your college account, and an ear for your endless childish problems has earned the right to lecture you forever.

If you are close to 50, your parents presumably were not 60.

Expectations toward parents from the adult children is just immaturity speaking, a major blurring of boundaries. Be thankful for their service to you, and focus on your own family.

A 60-year old man having a baby with a much younger woman doesn't need approval from anyone who isn't his wife.  As long as they are happy with their decision, adult children don't get a vote.  They've already collected what was theirs. [/quote]

this particular 60 year old very much wants approval - i.e. he wants a "big happy family". which further proves that he is a total idiot. big happy family is not happening, grandpa.

there is nothing immature about having expectations from parents and children as both grow old. yes everyone can do as they please but if they want a good relationship they will make choices with that in mind. if you want a "big happy family" that includes your numerous older children and grandchildren then don't have a baby at 60. simple!

my parents wiped my butt - so what? their parents wiped theirs and i do the same. if my parents squandered all their money gambling for example, it would be a stupid thing to do and you bet i would judge them for it. they would and did judge me for my own choices as well - choices i made after i left home. so what? it's what family is for.[/quote]

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