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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm nearly 40 and the one thing I can tell you is that the years fly by so quickly in your 30s and 40s. And they go by more quickly with each passing year.

The reason I mention this is that it's so easy to slip into the rut of a life that works, but isn't particularly interesting or what you wanted, but as long as there's a roof over your head, you're paying your monthly payments and putting food on the table and allowing yourself a few small luxuries, it's easy to just coast and the years slip away one by one. That's fine. That's what many if not most people do. If you stick with what you have, you will eventually pay off your loans. Although by the time it gets to the point where the loans won't feel like a burden anymore, you'll have college bills! And then retirement to save for. You will never feel comfortably off, and always just managing, but it's not a terrible life.

The other thing I want to tell you is that the older you get, the harder it is to change careers or move into more meaningful occupations. If you're on a certain career and income trajectory, the longer you persist with it (and the older you get within that trajectory) the much harder it is to jump up into higher paying trajectories.

If you want more financial security and more money in your life, you need to make those decisions now. This means paying off your loans as quickly as possible. You can try by being superfrugal (living off no more than 50k a year) for the next few years. Hey, many people manage to do that. And the years will go by more quickly than you can imagine.

Or at least one of you bites the bullet and looks for a much higher paying job. It'll probably be your DH. He might not like the job but the money that comes with it will help you out a lot, financially. You and your husband likely made a mistake in going for softer but more rewarding jobs out of law school instead of higher paying but less satisfying jobs. Had you done the latter first and stuck with those high paying biglaw or corporate law jobs for five years, you'd likely have paid of your loans by now and put aside a sum for a decent house, and then could downsize to the 200k HHI and be happy. It's not too late for one of you to get on the corporate track now but you need to do it sooner rather than later.

When DH chose his career track he was focused on the money. He is in the corporate world and is quite good at what he does but he always followed the money. Based on what he'd observed when he was young and what others told him, if he put in ten years of dreary grunt work and long hours and work travel while chasing after opportunities, then he'd come out the other side highly placed and ironically, with the seniority that would allow him to slow down a bit. And that's what's happened. He worked very long hours and at roles that he found tiresome and for bosses he hated, but now he's 40 and financially successful and in a senior role that gives him a lot of authority and enjoyment. But he put in the grunt and dreary years first. Pain first, rewards later. It's the same with other examples listed here, the graduating from med school and living superfrugally to pay off the huge debts within a few years. Now they can enjoy life. You might be afraid of the choices now, but where do you want to be five years from now? In the same place? Or someplace better? If the latter, then you know what you need to do. 
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