Reply to Would you not reciprocate a play date if friend’s house was too big?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, people are going to claim all kinds of things like “values”.

The crux of it is, yes, yiu have more than they do, and they don’t like that. Most people want someone they can compete with, usually mostly so they can feel better about their own choices and “position” in life. [/quote]

Serious question (I'm not one of the people involved in the tetchy back-and-forths over the last several pages, I'm not trying to start something here): do you truly not believe that what a person spends their money on reflects their values?  I don't think it's a smokescreen to say "you've spent $15M on an enormous house that you mostly don't use, and send your kids to public school; I don't understand your priorities."  (And I say that as someone who truly values and boosts public schools.)  It's not that OP is a bad person, and it's not that she's too rich, it's that there's something confusing and unsettling about her advertised priorities.

I have friends with much bigger houses than mine, and one set of friends with not only a much bigger/more expensive house than mine but [i]also [/i]two amazing vacation homes, and I understand why they bought them.  Location, functionality, travel, etc.  I can't afford their lifestyle but it makes sense to me.  If they threw that all over to buy one megamansion for the 5 of them I'd not understand what they were thinking or doing.  Maybe it sounds moralistic to call that a difference in values but it mostly is a difference in values -- what do you value enough to spend most of your money on?  [/quote]

Wondering if these people quiz other potential playdate moms: "how many houses do you own"?"  "and how did you acquire that?" If the answer (whether or not it is the entire truth) meets their "specifications", then you might go on the playdate, or not?  What if the person is a lobbyist for a cause you don't believe in?  What if they inherited a small fortune once all of their parents died?  I don't understand people who think they have the entire picture, when people only tell you what they want you to know.  It makes me think that some people are not nearly as smart as they think they are.  Funny.[/quote]

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