Reply to Marriage dynamics - one vs two income households

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Marriage dynamics - one vs two income households"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know this has been discussed before.  I'm expecting my first DC in less than a month (we're mid 30s; married 10 years), and daycare is going to cost more than my income.  I work at a NGO and make 35k/year.  DH is a big law associate (6L) and works long hours in litigation.  I already have to do everything around the house although we do pay for cleaners to help once a month - and when I say everything I mean everything, such as I painted the house when we first bought it, fix broken things, take care of the yard/mow, grocery stop/pack lunches, etc.  I got no issues doing it all because my DH is very appreciative and constantly shows it; [i]also there is no fixing this beyond only adding more help - lawn people, more frequently cleaning, handymen, etc[/i].   Maybe it's my tired, pregnant brain, but I'm considering staying home once we add a kid to the mix.

So my question is, [b]how are people's relationships affected if one is a stay at home[/b]?  [/quote]

Fine, but most hand off the kids to the Working Spouse once s/he gets home, especially with little kids under age 6. 15 hour days with babies, toddlers and PK'ers is not all fun and games. 
Helps to get a routine going, get out of the house, get them in morning school once old enough. 
Also helps to take girl trips, couple trips, family trips. 
I think we traveled with one set of grandparents, the ones who liked to vacation, when the kids were young since my husband had clients and unfortunately worked through most vacations. 
I also worked full-time with occasional travel, but was making $400k in an industry I loved so was not going to quit that. If I made under $100k, and certainly $35k (this frankly falls into volunteer work for rich people), I would have stayed home or started my own business, nothing crazy. My spouse makes about double what I do, but it can be very volatile bonus money. We had a 40-50 hour a week nanny until youngest was 4 yo, then went with au pairs.  The family schedule is nuts, but luckily I can organize and plan things quickly. Husband just tags along, frankly and continues to work too hard. His relationship with the kids suffers, and they have started to notice that other fathers are coaching, picking up from school, working at home, etc. while theirs barely knows what sports they are doing. Oh well, no time for that. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics